Does the source give a broad or myopic insight into the industrial revolution?
Identify the source The essay correctly identifies the author and medium of the
source and gives some detail as to the author David Bremner.
Set the Source in its The essay gives a some summery of the industrial revolution
historical context and discusses the division of labour and iron-marking processes in Scotland. However, it should discuss the industrial revolution more broadly outwidth the source, you should add a paragraph about what the industrial revolution was and how it affected Scotland in general.
The essay extrapolates the main points of the source and information explains what this information tells us about industrialisation in Scotland. The essay discusses the rise of Coatbridge as a monocity, how the source gives insight into the division of labour processes of the industrial revolution and how pollution affected cities such as Coatbridge. The essay could Analysis the evidence The essay gives a good conclusion about the source but should consider the sources weakness of the source a little more, who are we not hearing from for example? Who was the target audience of this source? Does the source give a broad or myopic insight into the industrial revolution?
General Comments
This is a strong essay with good structure, it explains the main
information very well. It also does a very good job at
extrapolating the main information and explaining what this
tells us about industrialisation in Scotland.
For your remediation you only need to do a few things. Firstly, you should go back and discuss the industrial revolution a little more broadly with your historical context section, what was it? How did it affect Scotland? What were
some of the major inventions of the industrial revolution? Secondly, your conclusion covers many of the pros of the source but you should also consider some of the weaknesses of the source. What are the sources limitations? Overall, a very good essay which only needs a little bit of remediation for a pass.